


a heart no longer hers

by LiveLaughLovex



Series: our definition of perfect [10]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Gen, Post-Season/Series 09, Spoilers for Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 12:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18811159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex
Summary: The first time she celebrates Mother's Day, she's only been a mother for seventy-two hours.





	a heart no longer hers

**Author's Note:**

> Being a mother means your heart is no longer yours; it wanders wherever your children do. - George Bernard Shaw

They’d been parents for seventy-two hours when Eddie’s first Mother’s Day rolled around. By then, they’d already fallen completely in love with their newborn son. Flynn really was the sweetest little boy, quiet and calm and perfect. He slept several hours at a time, fussed only when he was wet or hungry. He was pretty much the perfect baby, and they knew that. They knew how lucky they were. That didn’t mean they weren’t tired all day, every day. Parenthood, it turned out, was an exhausting thing, no matter how much of an angel the baby was.

“We don’t have to go,” Jamie reminded her the morning of Mother’s Day, handing over the bottle of formula he’d just heated and settling onto the sofa next to her as she got their son set up to eat. “Nobody’s going to be insulted. Dad, Pops, Danny, Erin – they all know what it’s like to have a new baby.”

“I know,” Eddie assured him. Flynn’s eyes were slowly drifting shut as he drank his breakfast, and she glanced momentarily away from her husband to smile down at their sleepy son. “But it’s my first Mother’s Day, and everyone’s been asking if they can see the baby. If we go over there, have Sunday dinner with your family, we’ll be killing two birds with one stone. Plus, we get out of the house for longer than the forty-five minutes it takes to get formula and diapers. It’s a win-win.”

“Okay.” Jamie still seemed slightly hesitant. “If you’re sure.”

“I am,” she promised, smiling comfortingly. She couldn’t exactly blame him for being worried. Her labor hadn’t exactly been short _or_ easy, and their son’s delivery had ended up leaving her rather sore. Still, she was feeling better. According to all the books she’d read, it was best to listen to what her body was telling her. At the moment, it was saying she could manage a few hours at her in-laws’.

So, at three o’clock that afternoon, they loaded up the car with all the baby paraphernalia they suddenly needed, strapped Flynn into his carrier in the backseat, and made the short trip to Jamie’s childhood home in Bay Ridge. Miraculously, their son did not wake up at all during their journey.

 “Hey!” Erin greeted enthusiastically, grinning at them as they made their way into the den. She narrowed her eyes at them teasingly. “Neither of you looks like a zombie. Are you sure you just had a baby?”

“Graveyard shifts,” Eddie say by way of explanation, settling onto the sofa next to her sister-in-law. “They prepare you for just about everything. But don’t let all this makeup fool you – I’m about seven seconds away from passing out right where I sit.” She lifted Flynn from his carrier once Jamie had set it down in front of her, then passed him off to his aunt, careful to support his head as she did so. “He’s a good baby, though. Not really fussy at all. We’re lucky.”

“Don’t put that out into the universe too many times, or else your luck might change,” Henry warned her from the other side of the room. “Everyone used to say Francis was the most well-behaved baby they’d ever met. His Terrible Twos lasted until he was four.”

“You’ve always blamed that on the Reilly side of the family, Pop,” Frank reminded his father pointedly, pocketing his cell phone as he returned to the group. He smiled at both his son and daughter-in-law. “Glad to see you both here. My grandson’s not making life too difficult for you, is he?”

“He’s an angel,” Eddie assured her father-in-law.

“He takes after his father, then.” Frank glanced over at his youngest son. “The first three had colic, refused to sleep through the night for months. This one, though – it was like he knew the hell his siblings had put his poor mother and me through, so he decided to take it easy on us.”

“He kept that mentality throughout his first twenty-something years,” Erin commented. “What am I saying? He’s still the good child.”

“You’re all good children,” Frank protested. “Your brother has just always caused a little less trouble than you and the older boys, that’s all.”

Eddie smiled sadly. “My parents used to tell me I was the easier newborn, but Stefan was the easier _baby_. I still don’t understand what they meant by that.”

Erin shrugged. “Maybe you pulled the same thing Nicky did. That girl was a perfect little cherub for the first two weeks, then boom! Colic hit, and she was screaming her head off 24-7.”

“Okay, let’s not discuss that in front of the baby,” Eddie suggested nervously. “I know he probably can’t understand us, but I don’t want him getting any ideas.”

“Don’t worry,” Erin assured her, amused. She shifted Flynn in her arms, shushing him quietly when he began waving his fists about. “I’m pretty sure he has been gone to the world since the second you walked in.”

Her son, of course, chose that moment to begin fussing.

“It’s okay,” Eddie soothed, snagging the pacifier clip from the carrier in front of her and then carefully lifting her son from his aunt’s arms. “I know, I know,” she cooed, propping him up against her shoulder and running a hand up and down his back. “You were having a nice nap, huh? I’m sorry we woke you, _draga._ ”

“He’s probably hungry,” Jamie said before she could even mention it, standing from his seat and grabbing the diaper bag. He headed into the kitchen to make and heat a bottle of formula while Eddie continued to soothe their son as best she could.

Thankfully, they’d been right; Flynn was simply hungry. The second he’d been given his bottle, he calmed down and began eating, staring contentedly up at his mother as he did.

“Well,” Eddie sighed, amused, “he’s most definitely mine, isn’t he? Give him food, he loves you forever.”

Danny and Sean arrived soon after. Dinner started promptly at six. The plan was for the baby to be placed in the bassinette purchased by his grandfather while the adults shared the meal. That, of course, did not end up happening, because he refused to instantly fall asleep and Eddie felt guilty about leaving him staring up at his mobile while she sat one room over. Instead, his carrier was brought into the kitchen and placed on the floor next to his father’s seat. Eddie held him during the night’s main event.

It was tradition, Eddie was told, the speeches given around the table by the children. They had been given by Danny, Erin, Joe, and Jamie at some point, by Frank before them. That didn’t make it any less heartbreaking to realize many of the Reagan mothers no longer sat at that table with them. Linda, Mary, Betty – the people they’d built, shaped, made great – were at that table, but they themselves weren’t. She wondered if the twinge in her chest at that realization would ever lessen with time. Probably not.

“Well,” Jamie began when it was his turn to speak, “Flynn can’t tell his mom how awesome she is just yet, so I’m going to do it for him.” He smiled at Eddie when she rolled her eyes playfully, ducking her head. “She lifts up everyone around her, even when it hurts her. She has faith in everybody she meets. People gain her trust automatically; it’s losing it they have to work at. And she loves wholeheartedly. If our son inherits even half her qualities, he’ll be a very lucky little boy.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, blinking back tears as everyone around them nodded in agreement with her husband’s words.

“Meant it all,” he murmured back, squeezing the hand not holding their son. “You’re a great mom, Ed.”

And it was ridiculous, the fact that those words made her emotional, because she _knew_ he felt that way. He’d never made any secret of the fact that he believed she was a fantastic mother, even before Flynn was born. It was just – now that he was here, the words hit closer to home. They meant more. To her, in that moment, they meant _everything._ But she couldn’t put that into words while also being an emotional wreck, so she simply nodded her thanks and handed the baby carefully over so he could be placed in his carrier. She’d never attempted it before, but she was pretty sure trying to fold her hands for the blessing with a baby in her arms wouldn’t be the most fun endeavor.  

“Whose turn is it to say grace?” Frank questioned, glancing around the table.

“Sean’s,” Nicky answered promptly.

The teenager sighed deeply but didn’t protest. “Bless us, oh Lord, for these thy gifts…”

-o-

“Okay, I know you said you didn’t want any gifts…” Jamie began, closing the door behind them after they’d returned home for the evening.

Eddie shook her head, smiling fondly. “How’d you even find time to buy a gift? We’ve pretty much been on house arrest for the past three days.”

“Grabbed it when I went to grab formula while you and Flynn were sleeping,” Jamie explained, reemerging from their guest bedroom with a very pink, very sparkly bag. The words _Happy First Mother’s Day_ were written in white across the front and back. “Here you go. Happy Mother’s Day.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, accepting the bag and carefully removing the tissue paper. The card was a pale blue color. A poem had been printed on the front: _my mother was my first country; the first place I ever lived._ Inside, the message read: _A mother’s her child’s hero from the very beginning of their life and remains that way until the very end. Happy First Mother’s Day._ Jamie had signed it _our boy’s lucky to know that, wherever you are, he’ll always be able to call that place home. I love you. So does Flynn. Jamie._

Eddie blinked back tears as she closed the card. “Thank you,” she whispered, swiping at the damp tracks on her cheeks and laughing emotionally.

“Gift’s still inside, sweetheart,” Jamie reminded her, amused. He pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Right.” She drew in a deep breath, then removed the rest of the tissue paper to reveal a pale green picture frame. One side had already been taken up, and Eddie grew emotional all over again. Her son’s handprints and footprints from the day he’d been born were on a piece of cardstock. Next to them, on the other side of the frame, was a picture of Eddie with Flynn on the day he’d been born. He was clean and bundled up in a blanket, staring up at her. The look on her face – it showed how in love she was with the baby she held.

“Went through several dozen photos to find that one,” Jamie informed her. “My family’s a little camera-crazy, now that there’s a new baby around. But that one – that one was my favorite.”

“Yeah,” Eddie managed, running her fingers against the glass and smiling. “It’s my favorite, too.”

“Happy Mother’s Day, Eddie,” Jamie murmured, pulling her closer.

She laid her head against his shoulder, joining him in staring at their son in his carrier, watching as the baby slept. “Thanks,” she whispered. “It’s been a pretty great day.”

**Author's Note:**

> My mother was my first country; the first place I ever lived. - Nayyirah Waheed
> 
> Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mothers out there, including my own. Thank you for all you do. You're, like, real-life Wonder Woman.


End file.
